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Our mothers used to tell us, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." The Loser's mother should have told him, "If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything." But the Loser was never told this. Or maybe he was and he didn't listen. So here's the situation, fellas. Put yourself in the Loser's shoes: You have a sexy, 22-year-old redhead sitting on your couch.

Welcome back to PornLoser.com, home of the only man in the world who can have a beautiful, young woman say to him, "I'm a nympho,"and not ask for details. The nympho in question is Kelsey Michaels, a 5'3" 105-pound brunette from Nashville, Tennessee. In what ways is she a nympho? What are some of her nympho adventures? If you brush up against her, will her pussy start juicing? We don't get the answers to any of those questions because the Loser doesn't bother asking them. There are many things we can say about Kelsey.

You flattie lovers out there are gonna love this one. The girl's name is Kylie Richards, she's 20 years old and from Pasadena, California, and she has absolutely no tits at all. Yep, she's nothing but nipple, and she's cute as can be with a very pretty face and a perfect little ass. Where does the "Loser" find these girls? One thing you gotta say about this guy: He might not know what to do with the girls once he finds them, but he definitely knows how to find them.

"I think once I have the cock in my mouth I'll be much better," says Taitum Reed when the Loser asks her if she's nervous. Now that's the kind of answer we like to hear. Some people chew gum. Others eat to calm their nerves.

There are some things even the Loser can't mess up. Like Erika, a 25-year-old blonde who was raised in Missouri, lives in New York City and ranks as the Loser's naughtiest discovery yet. Yeah, he tries to fuck it up, like by asking her if she has any reservations about what she's about to do. But Erika smiles and says in her little girl's voice, "I think it's going to be fun.